Too Hard

A friend of mine has a supercute, supersweet 2yr old son who happens to have cerebral palsy. Not that it would would really make any difference if he were not such an irresistible kid. But I digress.
Back in August my friend began looking for a mom's morning out/preschool program for her son. To her surprise, each place she visited (mostly church-run and not subject to ADA) turned them down flat. These programs claimed they just did not have the resources or personnel to care for a child with special needs. I like to think of myself as fair-minded, and to an extent I can understand this logic...but the flaw here is that we are talking about an age group where the children are all young enough to still have 'special needs.' A 2 year old who wears a diaper, occasionally needs a little help feeding himself, doesn't walk so great? That is not really 'special' in my book. But she just took deep slow breaths and kept looking.
So finally she found a place, another church-run program. They agreed to take her son on a 'trial basis.' More deep breaths. So off to he went and at first all seemed to be well. The trial period passed with no fanfare and she thought things were working out great.

Then Thursday, out of the blue as far as she could tell, she was told her son could no longer attend. Caring for him was just too hard. She was told this was a decision that had been made by the church board 10 days prior. No one had had given her any hint there was a problem or made any attempt to work out a solution.

I don't know the whole story, not even really from a one-sided basis. I can't presume to know the thought process this church went through, nor the factors that led up to such a decision. Maybe they did it prayerfully and with every desire to do God's will. I can't say that their actions make them 'bad' Christians because I am not in any position to make that judgement.

But I keep thinking about the implications of their decision and their stated reasoning. If a group of Christian teachers think this child is 'too hard' to take care of for 4 measly hours twice a week, what does that really say to my friend, to all parents of children who aren't 'normal?' To whom can my friend turn when she is exhausted, physically and emotionally? She can't quit, she can't hand her son back and say 'no thanks, this is too hard.' This is her life. And people who presumably love God and believe He does not make mistakes, have in a sense told this mother that her child is flawed.

I wonder how many parents of so-called normal kids have not had moments when they felt overwhelmed by the task of caring for their children? I have certainly had plenty, even though I am pretty sure my son is really a very easy kid.

I'm not sure where I am going with all this. I am actually not too worried about my friend or her son...she is a tough cookie and by God's grace has the wisdom to know she has been blessed with her son, not stuck with him. She is not indulging in anger or despair but is already busy figuring out how to use this setback as a stepping stone toward something better. I think God knew exactly what He was doing when He made her family, and this ugly incident is also somehow part of the bigger plan.