Play It Again, Speck

One of my MOMS Club friends who happens to be quite the artist and all-around creative genius made some construction paper violins for the kids to use during a recent musical playdate. Spencer has gotten no end of fun out of his pretend instrument.

Silence is Golden

I have a theory that one of the big mistakes people make in marriage (and other relationships) is talking too much. When you have a problem or a disagreement, the conventional wisdom is you must discuss it. You must Talk It Out. By and large I believe this is grade-A hooey. Sure, sure, there are times you need to have serious conversations about hairy topics. But I think for most couples these are relatively rare. What most people seem to be doing when they attempt to Talk It Out is trying to get themselves understood. In which case your real focus is on YOU and what YOU need, not on your relationship, and certainly not on your spouse. If you are worried about making your very important point to the thickheaded goon next to you, one thing you are probably not doing is cultivating a loving attitude for that person.

Rather I believe that silence is often your marriage's best friend. And no, I am not talking about the huffy door-slamming silence, or the cold shoulder silence, or the long silent pause while you put the finishing touches on your cutting remark. I mean the silence that happens when you choose not to retaliate. Or when you don't say things that start with 'you never...' or 'you always...' or 'you are such a...' The truth is that all of us have quite a few rough edges. And while tumbling around together certainly has a way of smoothing those away, it takes time and love and patience. And the rocks themselves are not in charge of the process.

I guess this is just my way of rehashing the old proverb about making sure your words are sweet because you may have to eat them. I'm not much good at sweet words but usually can manage to keep my mouth shut altogether. Now that I've been married 13 years I've had plenty of practice.

I have no clue why I got this particular burr under my bonnet (hee hee) but it seemed determined to be written so here it is.

Today's Quote

"...there is no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one."
-Jill Churchill

Here is Spencer *helping* me empty the trash.

Speck 2.0

Our Boysie (as DH calls him) is now 2. Due to a combination of crazy schedules, a bout of food poisoning, and (I admit) some measure of laziness on my part, we did not have a party. I asked myself who the party would really be for, and my answer was that Spencer does not know nor care one whit about it, so it would really be for me and the other adults in his life. Right now he tolerates other kids but does not seem all that keen on actually playing with them. Ergo, no party this year. I'm guessing the conversation will go a bit differently next year.

Not wanting to be a complete mommy failure, we did make a trip to Toys R Us and pick up some new playthings for him. His favorite is this racetrack. The kid loves all things wheeled and noisy. I guess it's a boy thing, he just came that way. I mean, I have not exactly been shoving dolls or girly toys at him, but whenever he is given a choice of activity he zooms right to whatever truck is handy. He does love books as well, which is probably due to parental influence and inheritance.

Thanks to all who have helped us get this far on the parenting journey without major incident. I'm not sure it takes a village, but it certainly helps to have a little help from friends and family!